"Cat"astrophe

Hunting season…ugh--ugh…that’s a man sound for the rut during late bow season (in case you didn’t catch it!) My hubby and our nephew go up in the 2-man tree stand…one to make a bow kill the other to get the hunt on film. When they return a couple hours later my nephew gives me the video camera to view their excursion. I’m watching…I can see the trail and the clearing but no deer. I hear the beautiful back ground noise of the woods in late fall and then I hear grown men giggling. I’m thinking “what is wrong with you two?!” Then onto the screen comes a cat, climbing up the nephew’s leg…another climbing the tree beside them and yet another on the ground playing in a visible coyote den (yikes!). Getting a bow kill on a whitetail is next to impossible with 3 crazy cats goofing off near your stand…I know, I have experienced that exact same “cat”astrophe!!

Lesson; kennel the cats unless you plan to shoot them with the bow!! Of course I’m joking!

"Slide"show

Tipping The Slide!

We only have one grandkid. So…why not go all out for his 10th birthday! Let’s do a mini carnival here on the farm!......Yeah!

We had games of all sorts; a make shift tattoo parlor for the kids, laser tag, little carnival prizes, you name it we had it! We rented an 18ft slide and a Spiderman jumper! When the man delivered and set them up he left one specific instruction. “No more than 2 people on the slide at one time…one going up the step side and one coming down the slide.” He says this to my husband as he was driving out the driveway. My hubby nods, closes the gate and walks back in the yard quickly picking up his pace and says to all the early-bird party people; the son, grandson, his 2 brothers and a couple nephews…”KING OF THE HILL!!!!”, and heads for the top of the slide! Everyone piled on! As more people showed up, more people went to the top of the slide only to be thrown down the slide by who ever was able to keep their position at the top! 42 people at the party and all but a few didn’t play on the slide; like the Great-Grandparents. Most of the people spent most of their time playing on that slide!

We started the party at 11:00 am and it went till 7:00 pm. There was 10 boys/men still playing on the slide when my sister-in law came to pick up my 2 nephews just after 7pm. She was awe struck by the size of the slide and wanted pictures. Her and I were standing at the foot of the slide watching bodies struggling to get up the ladder side just to be tossed back down the slide! As soon as someone would slide down they were back to the top ASAP! The shouting and laughing was so loud it must have penetrated the woods and sent all the wild critters into the next county! There were 8 boys/men on the slide and 2 running for the climb up side as we were taking pictures from the front. My sister in law says to me “the slide looks crooked”. I stepped back a bit…took a look…sure enough, it was a bit tilted! Then in slow motion the top of the slide started heading east…there were screams (from the 2 younger boys at the top and my sister-in-law) and laughing (from the men at the top and me) and bodies flailing and falling as the slide ever so slowly fell all 18 feet to it’s side! Arms and heads started poking out, kids and men alike were dragging themselves out from the taco shaped heap on the ground. After everyone was accounted for and there was no blood or broken bones we all gathered together staring for a brief moment. And then the laughter began…we all rolled!! (Dewey would be really proud now!)

Uh oh, headlights coming up the easement road. I panic “ you guys, it’s the dude to pick up the slide!” Everyone started pulling on the slide…we got it stood back up and tied back down as the man pulled up to the gate. We all helped him take it down and load it up. He said thanks for listening and respecting the rules…only 2 people on the slide at a time…usually no one listens to me. We all waved good by as he drove away.

Wow…what a good time was had by all!! We are still laughing about it!! I highly recommend a big slide for all your parties!!

The Blind Guy

While visiting my sis at her farm just down the road , I was telling her and my mom I wanted to redo the window dressings in my front room. I mentioned that I may go to the HD in town and have them custom made. Sis is quickly bustling around her kitchen (because that is what she does!), she stops, looks at us with abject horror in her eyes and says earnestly, “Whatever you do, don’t ask the blind guy for help. He doesn’t know anything…he’s an idiot!” I said "who?". She says "the blind guy at HD!" My mom and I look at each other and just roll!! My mom asked her “Does he just not “see” what you’re looking for?” Sis…the serious person that she is, says “ no, he’s a stupid blind guy!!” My mom and I are peeing our pants from laughing so hard! A few seconds later my sis turns to us from the oven where she was preparing food and says “you guys aren’t going to let me forget this are you!?” Through the roaring laughter my mom catches a quick breath and says “oh, hell no!”

Cat Conditioners!

The follie's finely orchestrated theatrical moves throughout the yard and pastures just wouldn’t be what they are without the cats. And you must have finely tuned and conditioned cats for these follies. Where do you get such cats you ask!? Well, me…I get mine from our friends. The 3 kids in the family are professional cat conditioners. From birth the kittens are held…right side up…upside down…doesn’t matter! They are dressed up, put on bicycles, pulled in wagons and other things I’m sure I don’t want to know of! The end result…a perfect cat! Loveable, friendly…scared of nothing!!! As I’m doing chores a few nights ago, 2 of the younger cats run out from some trees straight for the sheep. I’m thinking--oh, poor sheep--when at a dead run they jump over the sheep and attack the wiener dog! So the black lab wanted in on the action…and a third cat has joined in. When the lab pounced, the three cats in perfect choreographed unison--split up--each ran up it’s own tree--then right back down to where the lab sat!

Bravo! Bravo!

Veteran's Day ~~ November 11, 2007

Please take a moment to remember the brave soldiers who fight to protect and preserve out freedoms. The soldiers at home and on the fronts. Those who have went and have come home...those at home who will go...those who didn't make it home and those who won't.

Thank you.

A special prayer goes out to Ken and Cindy. Their son Deakin is in Iraq...again. Deakin, we are proud of you and wish you home safe, sound and soon.

"Whether"...or not?

Pigmy goats…gotta have me some! A guy that works with my hubby had 2 pigmy goats he needed to find homes for. I got wind…accidentally I’m sure. The hubby argued about us having them on the farm…all the way to the place where we picked them up from. The guy tells us one is an in tact male and one is a female…we believe him. The male is black with long horns. The female, no horns and is reddish blonde. The black one beats up on the red one constantly so we name them Ike and Tina…Turner…you get it, right!? Well, Ike likes Tina allot…if ya get my drift! So, we think we are going to have little ones somewhere down the road. One day while we were working outside my hubby stops in his tracks, says “hey honey, get over here, quick!” I walk over, he asks me “what is that under Tina’s stomach?" I said “straw?” He says “Noooo, “SHE” is peeing.” I said “so.” He says “SHE” isn’t supposed to pee from there!!" I said “ooooh…then she isn’t a she at all, she is a he…a whether!” My hubby walks away, slowly shaking his head, “not only do I have pigmy goats…I have gay pigmy goats!”

Dude...where's your car?

Early morning , July, a few years ago…ok, more than a few years ago! My son left for work, he walked, left his car in the drive way. Later that morning I saw the neighbor outside. He said good morning, I said it back, he mentioned seeing my son earlier waking down the sidewalk singing along, happy as could be. He then asked if there was a problem with the kids car. That’s when I noticed the car sitting there. Now a 16 year old boy who just got a car for his birthday a couple months ago would never opt to walk over drive! So, I’m thinking oh no, now what? I call him at work. I say “what’s wrong with your car?’ He says “nothing mom, I just forgot I had one.” I say “sweetie, do you do drugs?” He says “no, apparently I don’t need them! And oh, by the way, I lost a hundred dollars today.” I say “WHAT?” He says “a guy at work asked where my car was…I said parked out back…he says no, it’s not…I said--I’ll bet you a hundred dollars.”

And the kid has a genius IQ!

Mornings!

Mornings! I drag myself out of bed…down the stairs…all I want to do is throw myself on the chair and sip coffee…but noooo! I have animals! The “mouse” (Mickey the wiener dog) is scratching at his bedroom door to go out. I open his door and he does about 20 3-foot verticals while waiting for me to get my shoes and coat on. I take a deep breath and giggle out loud as I open the door. I take off running and scream as I look behind me…pretending to be in a horror movie. I am being chased by 22 chickens 4 ducks 3 dogs 4 cats and a sheep, at the same time the horses are running, bucking, snorting and farting in the pasture. Sometimes I intentionally fall on the ground…they all stop…stare at me, except those who pounce on me…I get up, start running again and they all chase me! I feed them, they forget I exist. I go back inside to drink my coffee. Now I’m awake!

I gotta get that on film!

Don't scare me like that!

Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap…taptaptaptaptap. What the? 3 am…sitting in my chair, watching Fox News, working on my computer….Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap…taptaptaptaptap. I freeze…what could that be? Heart thumping so loud it sounds like someone running up behind me! Yikes, that sound is right at my front door! Why aren’t the dogs barking…doing what I feed them to do?! Ok…must not be that bad, calm down. I walk quietly to the door…peak out the window…slowly look down. There on the door matt are my 4 ducks, all in a row…no pun intended! 3 with their heads tucked behind their wing…the 4th practicing his keyboarding on my door stoop. They have no idea I could have shot first, asked questions later! Umm, Duckling Rouennaise…joking!!

What qualifies as a pet?

I think if the wild rabbits frequent your yard or garden more than twice a week they are pets…after all, you are feeding them! If a tarantula or two or three hang out on your patio for any length of time they are pets. If you have trout swimming in your pond or a turtle wintering in your house…I think those are definitely pets! Especially when you pick names for them like Satchmo for the turtle. Oh, and if you “pet-sit” for the whole neighbor hood as often than they pet-sit for themselves…I think they may qualify as your pets also…at least part time pets…like having joint custody! So, I think my Mj is wrong when she says her and UJ are not pet owners!

I am hoping that on occasion my Mj will write a post for my blog. She is quick, witty, creative, sharp of tongue at times, and exceptionally articulate! She is a loving parent and grandparent with many stories to tell…hopefully I can talk her into sharing with us! ~~ Love ya Mj and UJ;)

Follies Intro

Where to start. Hmmm...so much to tell, so little time to tell it. And so many wonderful stories to tell. I want to share those stories so they don't fall by the way side like many adventures in life do. Seems everyday...or night, as we work a lot of graveyard shifts...there is a farm folly. And it can be any number of the critters involved in any one folly! The cats and dogs; the cats and the sheep; the dogs and the sheep; the cats, dogs, sheep and ducks. Add a chicken or a horse here and there and you have some serious entertainment going on. Oh, throw a kid...or an adult..into the mix now and then also! There truly is a beautiful theatrical world outside my windows and doors...I hope everyone enjoys their world as much as I do mine.

I just came in from cleaning the chicken house. I was trailed by 3 cats, 2 dogs, 4 ducks and 1 sheep. It is nice to be loved...or…are they all just hoping for a treat...devious little critters anyway! Maybe I'm so fanatical about the animals because I miss my son being a little boy and being able to see his follies...oh, so many!...daily. Strange...all of us with children have, or will have to watch our kids pack their things and move out...off their adult life. Doesn't matter how much we nurtured them, loved them, gave them...they all leave us sooner or later. Little ingrates:) So now that we have established a world wide common denominator let's admit it...we all look for something to stick in the nest to keep us going. Me, animals!

Now to set the record straight, I have other things than critters in my life...like a doting husband who helps me collect all the critters--while dragging his feet! He will say, "I don't want no darn sheep on the place"...as he's starting up the truck to go pick it up for me! (I love him!) I also mentioned my son. He is priceless in everyway...but I will have to put some thought into a public description of him. For now, I will leave it as eccentric, articulate and very funny:) Speaking of priceless...the grandson. Now this kid owns me! An absolute clone of his dad...oh yeah, eccentric, articulate and very funny. There will be many stories on this blog about the 2 of them!

And there's the family! Between the doting hubby and myself we have 10 siblings 6 siblings in-law, more nieces and nephews than I can count, some cousins hanging around here and there and soooo many wonderful aunts and uncles! I saved the best for last...the parents! Oh, I'm sure they will find no protection from this blog! Oh, do I have stories! Oh yeah..."warning": friends beware!

I'm thinking this is enough for an intro into the Farm Follies. This is more of a "let's see how this works" kind of a thing anyway. If you are reading this and you know me...beware...if I know of, or have been witness to any funny follies from you...it will come out on my blog...sooner or later!

me and the kid...

This is just a test...I repeat...just a test. I'm blog illiterate...the kid will help me figure it all out!